


upDATED

by strongaslwt



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strongaslwt/pseuds/strongaslwt
Summary: It's been four years since the world famous boy band One Direction announced they were going on Hiatus when suddenly an update account seems to pop up overnight with inside information about the band. No one seems to know what's going on or how it's happening but one boy is set on figuring it out.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

“Okay boys, I know it’s been a long day but you have one more interview and then, as long as you can get to LA on time you don’t have to see me again for three days.”

“Promise?” I ask Emily one the handlers our management sent on tour with us. They tried to tell us that she was our “assistant” and just “there to help” but we knew better. She was also one of the few people on our team we actually got along with. She was a no bullshit kind of person and usually one of the few to have our backs in disagreements with management.

“Oh, please Lou. You know you’re gonna miss my beautiful face waking you up for press.” She replies with a flirty smirk as she lead us through the backstage area of the venue.

I laughed at her as Niall and Liam talked amongst themselves while we followed her through the maze of backstage hallways. Suddenly I felt someone’s arm wrap around my shoulders and pull me close. I look over to see my boyfriend walking beside me carrying a very serious look on his face. I laugh again and wrap my arm around his waist leaning close to him as we walk. Although he didn’t say anything, I felt his body relax a bit as I rested my head on his shoulder. Normally he tried to keep any PDA or public acknowledgment of each other outside of being band mates to a minimum but when he gets jealous nothing can stop him.

“Alright so this should be a quick one, no more than ten to fifteen minutes. It’s for a radio station…” Emily explains as we approach the press room that had been set up. She quickly looks down at her notes reading over any information she needed to share. “The Kidd Kraddick morning show. There’s four hosts, they want you to wear holiday sweaters, answer a few questions about the hiatus and you’re good.” We had just finished performing the first night of the Jingle Ball US tour in Dallas and the only other day we were scheduled to perform was LA before flying back home for our last performance before our hiatus.

“Thanks Em. Will the cars be round when we’re done?” Niall asks.

“They’re already ready when you are. Do you want me to come in with you?” She asks.

“I think we’re fine. Thank you.” Harry says as he tenses his arm pulling me closer to him.

“Okay I’ll go tell them you’re ready.” She replies oblivious to Harry’s current bitterness toward her.

“Haz,” I turn to face my boyfriend as Emily left. “Haz look at me.” I say pulling his glare away from her departure and down to me. “Harry, she’s a friend, she knows about us. She wasn’t flirting.” I reassure him as I watch the tension in his body release.

“How can you be sure?” He asks me.

“Well, my girlfriend would probably be about as happy as you are right now if I was actually flirting with him.” Emily replies as she reappears.  
I laugh as his face turns from frustration to confusion. “Harry she’s gay. That’s why I told her about us. That’s why I trust her with our secret.” I explain.

“Besides, he’s not my type.” Emily adds. “Anyway, they’re ready for you boys.” She adds directing us into the room.

After brief introductions while their crew set up their cameras the interview was ready to begin. Once the cameras were rolling there was a quick joke about how crowded our interview space was as we stood in a half circle tightly squeezed together to fit in front of their stations backdrop. They pointed out that we weren’t dressed properly and passed out Christmas jumpers that we all held up in front of our chests. Jokes were thrown around as we situated ourselves and our jumpers.

“So, I was told to ask you about the rainbow bear.” The interviewer starts off and I froze. Liam and Niall both immediately look at me and I am speechless. Months ago, a fan threw a tie dye bear on stage and after the show he had come into my possession. I decided to use this as an opportunity to sort of communicate with our fans as well as piss off management. Niall, Liam and Emily were the only three who knew I was behind it, the fans had theories but most assumed that it was Harry. Over the course of tour, I got bold and started hinting confirmation of “Larry Stylinson,” the name that fans had given to the relationship between myself and Harry. Personally, I would’ve gone with Halo if anyone had asked me… but they didn’t so we were dubbed Larry.

Harry and I had been together almost as long as One Direction has been a band but we kept it very private. Fans eventually caught on through and started making conspiracies which caught the public’s attention and eventually the media. Management then told us that having a boyband with openly gay members could impede our success and forced us to cool it and keep our relationship as private as possible, which included dating other people and denying the relationship existed.

“I believe it was a bear that was thrown on stage at one of our shows.” I hear Harry explain snapping me back into reality. “The crew kept it and they have it taped to the scaffolding” he continues. I don’t know how he knew about the bear at all. He wasn’t on social media much but I figured Anne or Gemma may have brought it up to him so I let it go. The interview continues without any more big twists.

“Thank you guys, that was great.” The stations producer said to us while shaking our hands after the cameras had cut and the cast had left.

“No worries mate, thanks for having us.” Liam responded. “Have a good night.”

We said our goodbyes as Emily came in and escorted us out of the room and toward the exit of the venue.

“Just a heads up there’s press and paparazzi by the cars.” She warns us as she notices me reaching to hold Harry’s hand. “Maybe wait until you’re at the airport?” As she spoke I felt Harry’s whole body pull away from me as he quickly moves to walk with Niall. I sigh watching him pull his hair up in a bun before striking up a conversation with Niall. I fall back a bit so I’m walking between Emily and Liam. Emily gives me an apologetic look and I shake it off to show her I am fine. I know this is how it has to be and it’s what I signed up for. No matter how much it sucks in the moment.

We quickly round the corner into a sea of camera flashes as Emily pushes us through the mob of people and directs us safely to the cars. “Take them to DFW please!” She shouts at the driver through the open window. “I’ll see you all in LA. Text me if you need anything.” She directs toward us before waving the cars off and toward the airport.


	2. Long Way Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis has some secrets.

_So I should probably tell you ... we may have a little problem ._ I carefully type out the text before sending it to Emily.

 ** _Louis..._** I get back in response.

_Okay before you get mad ... technically I didn't do it._

_**Technically??** _

_It's just about the interview._

**_And..._ **

_They asked about the bear._

_**Fuck. What did you say?** _

_I didn't H answered . Gave some random response about it belonging to the crew ._

_**Niall and Liam went along with it?** _

_Yeah Didn't really have any other option ._

_**Does H know it was really you?** _

_Nope, I didn't think he knew about it at all_

_**No one at Modest really knows either, they probably all assume the same as H plus you got like what two weeks till the hiatus starts, the album is out already they can't really DO anything to you at this point...** _

_They can’t… can they?_

**_Why do you think you got away with the hug in Sheffield._ **

_Cause it was just a hug_

**_Or because they don’t want to fight you this close to hiatus. That way you stay with them when you come back_ **

_Oh?_

**_You didn’t hear it from me_ **

_Got it._

“Who are you texting?” Harry asked as he sat down next to me. He had just finished helping Niall store his guitar

“Just Emily. She wanted to make sure she had the right numbers for my family’s x-factor tickets. I wanted to get it sorted before we took off.”

“Oh. Is everyone coming?”

“Dan is staying home with the babies. Lottie’s going to be backstage with Lou. Mum, Fizzy and the twins are coming.” I explain.

“That’s good. I miss your mum.” He replies taking my hand in his.

I nod and rest my head on his shoulder. “Me too.”

“Oi, Lou… are we going out tonight when we get to LA?” Liam asks me as he and Niall boarded the private plane we had booked to take us to California.

“No mate, I don’t think so. I’m going to take it easy the next few days.” I felt bad saying no to the lad but ever since he and Sophia broke up all he’s wanted to do is go out clubbing and of course I’m always the one to go with him.

“It’s all good. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Maybe.” I reply.

I looked around the plane to see who we were waiting on. Security had arrived with us and Lou and Lottie, our hair and makeup team, were already on board. As I looked around it seemed like everyone was on board already. I turned to face Harry and asked, “Do you know who we’re waiting for?”

“No one love. James said there was a delay in departures and we got pushed back about twenty minutes.” He replied.

“James?” I ask trying to figure out who James was.

“The captain. I had a little chat with him when you were helping Lottie.”

“Oh a chat? And because of this chat you are now on a first name basis with him?” I respond a spark of jealousy lighting up inside me. He just chuckled in response and kissed my hand.

**********

According to the GPS map on the screens throughout the plane we were about halfway through the flight. The cabin was dark, dim glows being emitted from the emergency lights and the tv screens. Most everyone was asleep except Liam who was sitting across the aisle from us watching a movie on his laptop.

Harry had fallen asleep not long ago laying his body across the couch we had claimed his head resting in my lap. I carefully brushed the long curls out of his face with my right hand while pulling my phone out and turning it on with my left. Once it had powered up I connected to internet and checked my emails. I had one from my mum with updates about my siblings and just saying she missed me and one from Anne, Harry’s mum asking when we were planning on visiting. I responded to both and then checked twitter. I saw the interview from earlier in the night had already gone live on the radio station’s YouTube channel.

I quickly check to make sure no one is looking before switching over to the fan account I had made years before. I scroll through the timeline to check the damage done and what people were saying about the bear question. Although there were a few theories floating around and a lot of people were talking about it, shockingly most people seemed to believe the story Harry told about the crew being responsible. It wasn’t nearly as dramatic as it usually is after “Larry proof” drops and certainly nowhere near as talked about as the hug from our last show. I start to see a lot of people tweeting about this hiatus and what it means for the future of One Direction and each boy in general. Suddenly my chest feels heavy as I think of the uncertainty the future holds for my career. I open up my email again and go to a saved email I had from Simon.

After the decision to go on hiatus was first made and finalized, Simon had approached me about staying on his label as a solo artist. He had told me that going out and getting a new team, with all the scandal I had going on; with the video that leaked earlier in the year of Zayn and I smoking pot, the news of the baby coming, and the fact that I was the weakest member of the band vocally, it would be hard if not impossible for me to find someone willing to take me on. I told him I would think about it and he took that as a yes. I opened the email he sent me of contracts for me to look over laying out the agreement for a solo career under his label. It wasn’t something I had seriously considered, honestly I thought it seemed like a better deal for him than for me but also he had some points. With everything going on in my life right now I could be seen as a risky investment. But when I looked at this contract in comparison to what Harry and Niall told me they’ve been offered when they started looking I can’t help but get a bad gut feeling about it. I read over the email once again before moving it to the trash folder. I figure why agree to something I’m not a hundred percent sure about. I turn my phone off before looking down at my lap to Harry. I wondered to myself if I should tell him about Simon’s offer, but after how outspoken I was against the idea of a hiatus I worried that telling him this early that I was considering solo work may upset him. So instead I decide I keep it to myself.

“Hello everyone this is your captain speaking. We have now begun our descent into Los Angeles. We should be arriving at LAX in about 15 minutes please take your seats and fasten your seatbelts.” We hear come over the speakers. I lean down to wake Harry shaking him softly.

“Harry. Love, you’ve got to sit up. We’re almost there.” I say as he opens his eyes.

“Hmmm?”

“We’re landing. You need to sit up.” I explain. He yawns and stretches his long arms out before sitting up next to me.

“Have a nice nap?” I ask.

“Still tired.” He responds as he rubs his face in hopes to wake himself up.

“Don’t worry we’ll be home soon.” I reply brushing the hair out of his face.

He hums in agreement and we feel the plane start to descend bringing us closer to home.


	3. Does He Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finds out the truth.

“Lou, what time do we have to get there?” I hear Harry call from the bathroom. Today was the day of Jingle Ball LA, the last show the band had in America before we began our hiatus. We had spent the past few days between shows relaxing and packing up our house for the winter. Harry and I both agreed we wanted to spend time with our families and be close to home for the holidays so we decided that when we flew back for our x-Factor performance we were just going to stay in London through the beginning of the new year at least and then discuss what we’d do from there.

“Niall said sound check was at two. So, get there no later than one thirty so we can get miced and ready before our call time.” I respond from the kitchen where I am washing our breakfast dishes.

“Well I told Liam we’d pick him up since he doesn’t have a car right now.” He informs me walking into the kitchen. He picks up a towel and starts drying the dishes as I wash them.

“Well then we should probably leave soon.” I say looking down at my watch. “It’s eleven thirty. He’s about a twenty to a thirty-minute drive depending on traffic. We can pick up lunch or something on the way.”

“Foodlab?” Harry asked referring to one of his take out places in LA.

“That’s fine… but then we have to go after picking up Liam. Just in case we run into fans and they see us together.” I reply getting a smile from Harry as I hand him the last plate to dry.

“Of course, love. I’ll text him now and tell him the plan.” He said pulling out his phone. “Oh, and your mum asked me to tell you she misses you.”

“When did you talk to my mum?” I asked curiously.

“I called her this morning before you woke up. She wanted to talk about when we were getting back and such. Also, she and the girls are staying with us the weekend of x-factor that way she doesn’t have to do all that driving on one day by herself and she can see you for longer.”

“Me, or you. Honestly sometimes I feel like you talk to her more than I do.”

“See both of us love. And you and I both know that’s not true, you’re a mummy’s boy and we all know it.” He replies kissing my cheek softly before looking down at the phone that had just started buzzing in his hand. “Liam says he’ll be ready. I’ll call and order our food so it’s ready for pick up. You need to go get dressed we have less than an hour before we have to leave.”

“Whatever you say love.” I reply before heading up to our room to get ready.

***************

“Can you tell him to hurry up?” I ask impatiently as Harry texts Liam for the sixth time since we arrived at his house.

“He says he’s coming.” Harry responds. I honk the horn twice and Harry looks at me. “Was that necessary?”

I look at him then at the door of Liam’s house which has yet to open. I look back at Harry and put my hand on the horn pressing again and holding it down for a moment. Harry lightly slaps my hand and rolls his eyes after about 15 seconds of blaring the horn. At that moment I see the door open and Liam walk out and lock the door before heading over to the car. I quickly lock the doors so he can’t get in. He knocks Harry’s window and waves as he squints trying to see through the tinting.

“Shhh he can’t see us; pretend you don’t see him.” I say as Harry rolls his eyes at me again and unlocks the doors.

“We’re already running late Lou.”

“You can blame Payno for that. He’s the one who needed the ride and wasn’t ready when we arrived. Even after we gave him plenty of time.”

“Sorry lads I lost track of time.” Liam explained as he buckled his seatbelt.

“It’s fine Liam.” Harry replies as I put the car in drive and pull out of the driveway.

The drive is quite dull. We get stuck in traffic on our way to pick up lunch so Liam uses the time to tell us about a meeting he had with another label and how he couldn’t wait to get started on his next project. We picked up the food with no problem and headed to the venue.

After sound check was finished, we went back to the dressing room. Niall had wandered off to find the boys of Five Seconds of Summer and Liam was currently getting his hair fixed by Lou and Lottie. Harry and I were finishing the rest of our lunch. There’s a sudden knock on the door and we look up to see Ashton and Luke standing in the doorway.

“Hey guys.” Ashton says before they walk in and sit on the couch across from us.

“Hey lads. Have you seen Niall?” I ask. “I thought he was going to find you.”

“He did.” Luke explained. “But he got distracted when we ran into Hailee. You probably won’t see him for a while. She asked him to watch her soundcheck.”

I laughed. “Of course. So how are you boys doing?”

“Great! Albums selling well. Can’t wait to be back on tour.” Ashton answers. “Are you lads ready for your hiatus? Well is it actually a hiatus or are you just saying that for the fans?”

“It’s actually just a break. We will be back eventually. We would be crazy not to.” I reply.

“Plus, we have a whole album we’ve never toured.” Liam chimes in.

“But yeah we’re all kinda ready for a break.” I continue. “Do our own thing for a while.”

“Well when you are planning your comeback let us know. You can open for us. Bring it full circle.” Luke says laughing.

“That would be something.” I reply with a smile. “Full fucking circle.”

“Are you two going to come out? During your break?” Ashton asks looking at Harry and I.

“I don’t know we haven’t really talked about it.” I reply as Harry speaks up.

“I don’t think so. It depends.”

“Depends?” Ashton asks

“Well, I plan on doing some of my own music eventually which means that I need to be likeable. So, I feel like… it’ll be the same solo as it is in the band. I don’t want to damage my image.” Harry explains.

“So, I damage your image?” I ask him as everyone else in the room stays quiet. My mind is racing as I try to process what he has said.

“I didn’t say that. It’s just… like management told us when they found out we were together. Being gay could damage our image. Being publicly gay, and in a relationship… people won’t like that.”

“But everyone already assumes you two are together and they don’t care.” Luke chimes in.

“Yeah in fact they support it.” Ashton adds. Harry looks away from me to give them a look.

“Oh, look at the time. We should probably get ready for soundcheck. I believe we’re up next. Don’t want to be late.” Ashton says as he and Luke get up. “See you lads later.” He adds as they head out the door passing Niall as they exit.

“Hey lads. Why were they in such a hurry?” Niall asks looking back to see Ashton and Luke walking away.

“Harry just told Louis he doesn’t think they’re gonna come out anytime soon.” Liam whispers to Niall.

“Wait really? I thought you boys coming out was always in the plan. I thought that was part of the reason we were taking the break. So, you could stop hiding.” Niall asks.

“Me too.” I reply under my breath.

“Then why have you two been hinting at it all tour?” Niall asks.

“What?” Harry looks up at Niall with confusion on his face and I freeze.

“With the bears. Why do all that work if you were just gonna stay quiet?” Niall continues.

“The bears?” Harry asks looking more confused.

“I mean I guess the whole playing dumb and saying it was the crew during that interview makes more sense now.” Niall starts to process out loud.

“Niall stop.” I say trying to prevent him from saying anything else.

“Stop what?” Niall asks.

“Harry doesn’t know about the bears.” I explain trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. Especially with the one person sitting next to me.

“Oh.” Niall responds quietly as Liam stands up from where he was sitting.

“I think we need to give the lads some space Ni. Didn’t Shawn say his room was down the hall? Why don’t we go visit him.” Liam suggests and practically drags Niall out of the room with Lottie and Lou sneaking out quietly behind them.

“I think we need to talk.” I say to Harry still avoiding eye contact.

“I think we do.” Harry responds with hints of disappointment and anger in his tone.

I spend the next hour explaining to him everything about the bears and what I had been doing while we had been on tour. I tell him that Emily and the boys are the only ones who are aware that I am behind it. I detail exactly what I had done and why. I show him pictures that fans had taken of the bears and try to convey exactly why I did it. I tell him how trapped I had felt. How depressed I had felt when Zayn left and then with the announcement of the hiatus, and how out of control I felt knowing that everything I knew was changing and how now with Brianna’s pregnancy further pushing me into the closet I just wanted to feel control over something. I wanted to play some role in the narrative told about my life. I confess how I felt like I was drowning having this secret I’ve been keeping for almost five years and I just wanted to tell everyone even if I said nothing. I pour my heart out to him and he listens carefully. I watch him and when I look at him I can read how he slowly is processing everything. After I finish the room is silent. After a few moments Harry sighs and looks at me.

“We should probably get ready. The show should be starting soon.” Is all he says.

“Harry?”

“Can we discuss this later. I need time and we need to get ready.” He replies.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” I reply.

“I know.”

“I love you.” I say to him.

“I know.” He replies before heading out of the room leaving me alone to get ready. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclosure: I do not agree with anything H said in this chapter about being gay damaging someone's image. I also do not believe IRL H agrees with that. This is a work of fiction and so sometimes things won't translate or fit with reality perfectly. 
> 
> No matter who you are, what your identity: gay, straight, bi, cis, trans I see you, I stand by you and you are valid and I'm so sorry if anyone has ever made you feel like you aren't


	4. Change Your Ticket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis deals with the repercussions of keeping Harry in the dark.

Three days have passed since Harry found out about the bears. The night he found out he didn’t speak to me. He caught a ride with Ashton and Callum so I drove home alone. He barely even looked at me when we were home. He spent the night in the guest room and when I woke up the next morning he had already left for a meeting. He was gone most of the day. That night he came home with dinner and told me he was ready to talk. We fought. A lot. He said he understood why I did it, but not why I didn’t tell him. I explained that I didn’t want to be talked out of it and I needed to do it for me. He brought up that it wasn’t just about me though and it was important he think about his image. It was a long fight and probably one of our worst. He said he needed time. He said he forgave me and he still loved me but he felt like this crossed a line. He needed time to sort out how he felt and calm down. That night he stayed with me but he still felt distant. He slept on the edge of the bed. As far away from me as he could get.

The next day I had to go see Brianna with the lawyers and then I had lunch with Lottie. Harry did his own thing. When I got home, he told me he decided to fly back to London early with Lou, Lottie, Niall, and the team. He told me that their flight was the next day. I asked if he needed a ride. I was giving one to Lottie anyway. He said he was going to be at Niall’s in the morning anyways so he’d catch a ride with him.

Today he woke me up early. He said he was leaving for Niall’s but he didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. He told me he would miss me, promised to have the house set up when I got there. We laid in silence for what felt like forever and no time at the same time. He gave me a goodbye kiss and stayed with me until I fell back asleep. It didn’t take long for me to fall back asleep in his arms. When I woke again, he was gone so I got dressed and went over to Lottie’s.

We were now on our way to the airport. Lottie was telling me some story about something she and my mum were planning on doing when she got home when my phone started ringing. Lottie reached over and picked it up to see who was calling.

“It’s Harry.” She says before answering the call. “Hey Harry we’re in the car right now. Lou is driving so I’m putting you on speaker.”

“Hi love.” I say as Lottie switches my phone to speaker and places it on the dashboard.

“Hey Lou,” he responds. “I just wanted to know if you were dropping your sister off at the curb or are you coming in.”

“Oh, I was just planning on slowing down as I drove by and letting her dive out at her terminal.” I tease earning a smack from Lottie and a chuckle from Harry. “No, I was just going to drop her off. Why?”

“I just wanted to see you.” He responds.

“Are you there already?” I ask him.

“Yeah. We just got here.”

“I can come in, if you want me too?” I ask.

“Yeah, please.” He replies quietly.

“Haz are you okay?” I ask concerned.

“Yeah love… I just miss you.” He replies and I can hear the slight distress in his voice and it breaks my heart. Although we had seen each other this morning I knew what he meant. We hadn’t been in sync since our fight and it was starting to weigh on him, I could tell.

“I miss you too.”

“Didn’t you two just see each other not even four hours ago?” Lottie asks and I ignore her to talk to Harry.

“We’re about fifteen minutes away.” I inform him.

“Okay. Niall is saying car is here to take us from the parking lot to the plane. Should we wait or meet you at the hanger?” He asks.

“Whatever you want Haz.”

“I’ll wait.” He says into the phone before I hear him start talking to Niall. “We’re waiting I guess.” He says back to me.

“You guess?” Lottie asks.

“Well I told Niall I was waiting for you and that he could head over with everyone else but he said he wants to wait too.” Harry explains.

“Aww does Niall miss me too?” I tease and Harry and I both laughs.

We stay on the phone as I drive. Lottie and Harry starting a conversation planning a family dinner for when my mum and sisters come to visit.

“We’re pulling into the parking lot now babe.” I speak up as I turn into the lot.

“We’re in the back corner. Niall saved you a spot by his.” Harry replies.

“How did he… oh.” I start to ask as I turn the corner and see Niall sitting in the middle of an empty parking spot and Harry leaning against Niall’s car in the spot next to him.

“Niall can you get up now?” I hear Harry ask and Niall stands up and moves out of the way while I pull into the now empty space. Lottie jumps out and goes to the back where Harry has already started unpacking her bags from the boot as I park and turn off the car.

“The car is on the way back to pick us up. Lou are you coming with us or saying you’re goodbyes here?” Niall asks as I get out of the car.

“I’ll come… Sure.” I shrug. “If that’s okay?” I ask as Harry walks over to me and pulls me into a hug.

“Course mate.” Niall replies before he starts talking to Lottie giving Harry and I some privacy.

“Hi love.” I greet him holding him close to me.

“I’m sorry Lou.” He replies kissing the top of my head.

“Sorry? Sorry for what?” I ask curiously.

“The fight. I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding.” He replies pulling away to look at me. “I love you.”

“I love you too Haz.”

“I’m gonna miss you.” He sighs taking my hand in his.

“I’ll miss you too.” I reply. “But it’s only two days.”

“Two days too long” I hear him say under his breath.

“You’ll survive curly.” I respond with a chuckle before squeezing his hand.

The car pulls up and Niall and I quickly pack everyone’s bags into the back of the car before piling into the car. Harry and I sit together in the back, Lottie and Niall in the middle. It takes less than five minutes for the driver to get us to the hanger their private plane is leaving from. As we pull up everyone else seems to already be boarded. I see Lux’s head peeking out of the corner of one of the windows. I wave up to her and receive a smile and wave back. The driver helps Niall unload the bags as Lottie boards the plane. Harry and I say our goodbyes and I wait until the plane taxis away before asking to get driver back to my car.

The drive home is long and quiet. Unfortunately I end up getting stuck in afternoon rush hour traffic making my drive longer than I planned. When I get back to the house I try to keep myself busy. I finish up the odds and ends of packing for London as well as putting away everything so I can close up the house for winter. I check my email and only see another email from Simon regarding going solo. I ignore it and close my email. Two hours after I get back from the airport I feel beyond bored and lonely. And most importantly I start missing Harry. I look around the house and check my schedule. Realizing that I had finished all my meetings and I had literally nothing left to do before I leave I decide to surprise Harry and fly back early as well. I look for the next flight and find a ticket for a flight to London leaving LAX tonight. Packing my bags into the car I call the airline and change my ticket before locking the house up and heading back to the airport for the second time today.


	5. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis surprises Harry.

**_We just landed in New York._** I get a text from Lottie as I turn Wi-Fi on from my flight.

 _New York ? Why are you in New York ?_ I respond.

**_Refueling for the flight and I guess Simon is in NY so he’s gonna catch a ride back with us too? so we’re waiting for him._ **

_I don’t envy you … how long are you stuck there ?_

**_Three hours for refueling and maintenance. Then, however long Simon takes._ **

_How’s the trip so far ?_

**_Your boyfriend is fine if that’s what you’re asking. He moped the first hour or so but then we started talking about Christmas and he let it go. He’s talking to mum right now._ **

_Our mum ?_

**_Yes our mum… he stole my computer from me when I was talking to her and now he’s hogging it._ **

_Of course he is ._ I laugh as I text back. _So what time are you scheduled to get into London now ?_

**_Late afternoon to early evening. Not sure… why?_ **

_I land around 1:00 pm . Was wondering if I should wait for H at the airport . But maybe I’ll just surprise him at home ._

**_I thought you weren’t leaving for a few days?_ **

_I wasn’t … but I finished everything early and there was no point in staying ._

**_And you missed H._ **

_Yeah , kinda_

**_God you two are so obsessed. So he doesn’t know?_ **

_No . And I want to surprise him so don’t say anything._

**_I won’t. Heads up he just gave me my computer back so expect a text soon._ **

_Thanks lotts x_

**_No worries Lou. Love you_ **

_Love you ._ I respond ending my conversation with her only for my phone to buzz with a new notification of a text from Harry.

**_Hey love, plane ended up making a stop in New York and we’re going to be here for a few hours. Can I call you?_ **

_Sorry babe … I can’t right now. Maybe tomorrow night ?_

**_Okay love. Is everything okay?_ **

_Yeah Haz it’s fine … I’m just not home right now ._

**_Oh okay. Talk tomorrow?_ **

_It’s a date._

**_Love you. x_ **

_Love you too._

As I finish the conversation I turn my phone off and pull the hood of my hoodie up over my head before turning onto my side and closing my eyes. It was a long flight, might as well get some sleep while I can.

*************

"Ladies and gentleman, We are now beginning our descent into London Heathrow airport, as you can see the pilot has turned on the seat belt sign back on so please make sure all carry-on items have been stored in the overhead bins or under the seat in front of you, remain seated with your seat belt securely fastened, your seat back in the upright and locked position, and your tray tables stowed. We will be arriving in approximately thirty minutes." the flight attendant announced over the speakers.

I raised my seat and put everything in place for landing. I quickly glance down at my phone to check the time and see we are still scheduled to arrive on time. I quickly message Lottie an update before they turn the plane’s WiFi. She replies that they were about three hours behind us and were scheduled to arrive around four o’clock. I thank her quickly before turning my phone off for landing. When we land I manage to escape the airport and avoid getting recognized. It takes me about an hour to get home. Once I’m home I call my mum and let her know I’m home before calling and ordering dinner to be delivered later tonight. I spend the rest of the time cleaning the house and getting ready for Harry to get home. While I’m busy unpacking my bag my phone rings. I look down at the caller ID and see it’s Simon. I reluctantly answer the phone.

“Hello?” I answer with an already annoyed tone.

“Louis, it’s Simon.” I roll my eyes as he speaks.

“Yes Simon, I know… what do you want?”

“Did you get my email?”

“I did. And I told you I’m not sure. I don’t know I need to talk to Harry. We haven’t talked about it.” I explain.

“All the other boys have already had multiple meetings with different labels. They’ve been getting offers since the hiatus was announced. I assumed you had been dealing with the same.” He says. “But then again, as I mentioned last time we spoke. With everything you’ve had going on lately you are a risky investment. And you don’t really make up for that with your voice. All you can rely on is the fans loving you because of One Direction and without the other boys even that’s not a guarantee either. I’m offering you probably the best dead you’ll be able to swing because I know you and I know you’ll be worth the investment.”

What he said made sense. With everything I had been dealing with it I had been more trouble than I was worth. When I first auditioned as a solo artist on X Factor, I wasn’t good enough to make it on my own… I was barely good enough to make it in One Direction. I had the least amount of solos, the least amount of fans, the only thing I contributed with was I could write. But anyone can do that. I didn’t have a thing. Niall was the friendly one, the one who got along with everyone. He’s just a lovely lad. Zayn had the voice, the crazy high notes and riffs he pulled them off no problem. And though we joked the fact that he had an air of mystery and distance about him it made him that much more intriguing to people. Harry was the cool popular one he had the stage presence, he was born to be a rockstar. Liam had the charisma and connection to the fans as well as the technical side of production he was big in. And then there was me. I was just kinda there. I didn’t contribute anything. They would’ve been just as successful if not more so than me. All I brought was problems. The fight with the boys from The Wanted, the weed video, fighting with Naughty Boy and Zayn, and the baby drama; all I brought was bad press and stress. Even being with Harry caused more problems for him then he deserved. As I thought of this I sighed.

“Can I talk to you about this when we come to perform on Sunday?” I ask.

“Of course. We will talk then.”

“Bye.” I end before quickly hanging up the phone. I sigh running my hand through my hair brushing it out of my face knowing I had a lot to think about. I continue cleaning the house and waiting for Harry to arrive. Once their plane lands Lottie texts me to tell me that they’ve arrived. Not long after that I get a text from Harry.

**_Hey love. I’m back in London. On my way to the house now. Are you awake yet?_ **

_Yeah . I’m up . When do you’ll think you’ll get home?_

**_I think I’m dropping Lottie off first so can I call you in about an hour. Is that okay?_ **

_Course love. Drive safe._

I texted Lottie and asked her to text me when Harry dropped her off and about twenty minutes later she shoots me a text saying he just left hers. I finish up unpacking the house and put a football game on the tv and wait until my phone starts ringing. I look down to see Harry facetiming me. I mute the game and pick up the phone.

“Hey love. Are you home?” I ask as the call opens and I see him sitting in his car.

“I just pulled into the house.” He says as I see him click the remote to close the gate. I chuckle quietly as I get a notification from our security company that the cameras pick up movement. I open the app and watch on the cameras as Harry unpack his bags from the back of his car and continues to talk. “So what are you up to today love?”

“Right now I’m just watching footie.” I say opening the facetime app again Don’t know what I’m going to do later. I haven’t got any plans. What about you?” I ask as I sit up and listen for the door to open.

“I’ll probably just unpack and get supper. That was a longer trip than I anticipated. We ended up waiting hours for Simon in New York.” He says with a sigh as I hear him putting his bag down to unlock the front door.

“Aww babe. I’m sorry” I say as I hear the front door open from his end of the call.

“It’s fine lo-” He stops mid sentence.

“What’s wrong?” I ask knowing there’s no way he heard me from the front door when I was toward the back of the house on the second floor.

“I think someone broke in.” He whispers. I have to mute my mic to laugh before heading to find him.

“Why do you think that?” I ask after unmuting my phone.

“The lights were on in the front hall and the dust covers have been taken off all the furniture.” He says still whispering. “Louis I really think someone broke in.” I hear him say as I walk down the stairs.

“Well love, I highly doubt it.” I say as I head toward the front entrance where he’s pacing.

“How can you be sure?” He asks.

“Well,” I say as I walk into the room. “I feel like I would’ve noticed someone else walking around while I was unpacking.” I reply laughing as I watch the look on his face change from fear to shock to confusion.

“Lou?” He asks confusion clear in his voice. “How? What? But-”

“I got home after dropping you off and realized I had no reason to stay in LA without you so I changed my ticket and got in this afternoon.” I explain.

“I love you.” He says walking over and embracing me tightly.

“I love you too babe.” I say before kissing him.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” I reply before pulling away and grabbing his bags and bringing them toward the stairs. “Let’s get you unpacked. Dinner will be here in about an hour.”

We got Harry completely unpacked by the time dinner arrived. We had a nice quiet dinner and facetimed my mum while we did the dishes. We spent the night just watching movies and cuddling just enjoying each others company. As I fell asleep holding Harry close to me, for the first time in a very long time I felt completely at peace and content with my life. Things weren’t perfect but they were good and I was happy. With Harry I had everything I needed. Perfect was overrated anyway.


	6. Night Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry learns about Louis' plans for the hiatus

“How does it feel being back?” We get asked for about the thousandth time since we arrived.

“Great. Feels like coming home.” I reply almost automatically with a smile. My actions have become second hand as I wander around the building. After spending so much time here when we were on the show, to our almost yearly return this place feels more recognizable and familiar then any place I’ve called home in the last five years.

After making the rounds and saying hello to practically everyone in the building Harry and I part ways. He heads out to find our families and I head back to the green room to let the other boys know we’ve arrived. As I walk down toward our green room, I can hear Niall’s laugh echoing down the hall.

“Hey lads!” I say as I walk in to the room to find Niall and Liam finishing a chat with one of the show’s finalists. I walk in as she makes her exit, I assume heading toward her own room.

“Tommo! You’re here.” Niall exclaims. “I’ve missed ya lad. How’ve you been?”

“Good Niall. Been good. Had a nice quiet week.” I confess sitting down next to him. Liam gets a text and excuses himself saying his family had arrived and he was going to find them.

“Where’s young Harold?” Niall asks.

“With our families. He should be back here soon.” I say with a sigh looking around. “So… looks like nothing here has changed.”

“Yeah… always the same.” Niall agrees.

“Not us though.” I reply with a hint of sadness in my tone. Looking around it felt bittersweet being here. Tonight will be the last night that One Direction performs together for the foreseeable future.

“No, not us.” Niall says and from his tone I think he is probably having the same thoughts.

“It’s been a crazy ride. The past five years.” I say. “Who would’ve thought we’d be here.”

“I don’t know mate. I never expected any of this. Gonna be weird not seeing you lads every day.” Niall replies.

“We will keep in touch.” I promise. “And we will be back.”

“I hope so.” Niall says.

We sit in silence for a while just letting the feelings wash over us. At some point we both start crying and I start feeling the full weight of just what tonight means. Eventually we pull ourselves together and Harry and Liam make their way back to the room. We all have a drink and laugh reminiscing over the past five years while we wait for our call time.

“Boys. Five minutes.” One of the crew pops her head into our room to inform us. We all start getting up and end up standing in a circle in the middle of the room.

“Alright lads… this is it.” I start to say. “Before we go out there, I just want to thank you three. We’ve been through a lot over the last five years. I don’t know where my life would be without you. You’ve changed my life.” I say not having the words to emphasize how important they were to me or what this moment meant to me. I start to get choked up but Niall quickly puts his hand out into the center of our circle.

“Ready boys?” he asks. “One last time.”

We all put our hands in to do one last pre show round up.

“Three, two, one, we push.” We all say together before breaking apart and heading out toward the stage.

We finish the performance and head off stage the four of us head back to our green room and you can tell feel the bittersweet emotions lingering in the air. It’s a mix between fear, excitement, sorrow, and nostalgia. We hang out in our green room watching the end of the show on one of the TVs and wait for the after party to start.

*************

“Well, enjoy your break.” Another crew member replies as I try to end the conversation we were having to make my way over to where Simon and Harry were talking. The party was dying down. My family had already headed back to our place for the night, I’m pretty sure Liam already headed to his next party for the night, and Niall seemed to be making his way out before he got stopped by Nick Grimshaw. Mostly everyone left was crew or contestants from the show.

“So, when you come back from this break you’ll have plenty of time to write the sixth album while you tour your Made in The Am album.” Simon says to Harry.

“ _If_ we come back Simon.” Harry says. That makes me stop a few feet behind them and listen to where the conversation goes.

“If? Do the other boys know you’re considering not coming back already?” Simon asks.

“I didn’t say that.” He replies. “I’m just curious what makes you think we’d come back to you?”

“Because I was the one who made you who you are.” He replies smugly.

“And we are all incredibly grateful for the opportunities you gave us. But one of the reasons we are going on this break is to see who we are on our own.” He explains.

“And when you figure that out and want to come back my team will be ready.” Simon replies.

“If we’re being completely honest I doubt you’d want us back.” Harry states before finishing the drink he had in his hand.

“Oh really? And why is that?”

“Well, you tell me Simon. Would you want to work with us again if we came back as a band with two openly gay members?” Harry asks with just as smug a face as Simon had. I stood back listening wondering why Harry was even suggesting that. He was the one who had been so worried about people finding out. Why was he now implying we’d come out when he’d been so adamantly implying he wasn’t ready?

“Oh we won’t really have to worry about that.” Simon brushes him off.

“Really? And how do you know that?” Harry asked.

“Louis won’t be coming out.” Simon explained. “I mean you, Harry, are free to do what you want come out if that pleases you. We can deal with _that_ when you boys come back together. Cross that bridge if we come to it as they say. But the two of you won’t be an issue. Louis isn’t coming out any time soon.”

“What makes you think that?” Harry asked. 

“It’s written in his contract.” Simon replies.

“Which ends next week.” Harry replies.

“Not that one. Not the One Direction contract. His solo contract.”

“His what?” Harry asks confused as I decide it’s best if I make my presence known to every one. I step closer clear my throat loudly enough to bring attention to myself. Both of them turn to face me and as Simon processes what is happening, a knowing smirk forms on his face.

“Have you not told him yet?” Simon asks.

“I wasn’t keeping it from him if that’s what you are trying to imply.” I reply gritting my teeth.

“Louis,” Harry turned to face me. “What’s going on?”

“We need to talk Haz. I think it’s time we went home. Where we can talk privately.” I reply. He nods before quickly finishing his drink and saying goodbye to Simon. I follow behind him saying nothing to Simon. We make our way out saying goodbye to everyone on our way out. When we reach the car Harry unlocks the driver’s door and gets in.

I wait at the passenger's side door for him to unlock the door. I see as he sits there talking to himself for a minute before running his fingers through his hair pushing it out of his face and unlocking the door for me. I step up into the car and close the door quickly behind me before looking at him.

“Are you okay?” I ask quietly.

“Seatbelt.” He says not looking over at me. I comply buckling my belt as he pulled out of our parking spot and began driving home. We drove in an awkward silence the entire drive home. As we pulled up to our house Harry put the car in park and turn the key switching the engine off. He sat there looking at the steering wheel for several minutes before I decide to speak up.

“Harry?”

“Your family is here, they're probably already asleep. Which means we should probably be quiet when going in. Your mum said they'd be leaving after breakfast tomorrow. We will discuss this then.” He says before looking up at me. As his eyes lock with mine I can tell he is holding back tears.

“Babe… I-”

“Tomorrow.” He interrupts before turning away to get out of the car.

We head inside quietly and head straight to our room making sure to not make a sound while passing the guest room. When we enter our room Harry heads into the bathroom and closes the door as I take my phone out of my pocket and place it on the charger before getting ready to sleep. I check my phone to see a text from Liam asking me if we wanted to come meet up with him at some club. I text back declining the offer before continuing to get ready for bed. Harry comes out of the bathroom looking exhausted. He empties his pockets placing his wallet and phone on his bedside table before putting his clothes away. I go into the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed leaving him alone in the room. The silence in the room feeding my anxiety making me worry about what will happen tomorrow when we talk.

Once I’ve finished I turn the lights for the bathroom off before leaving the room and closing the door. Back in the bedroom I look at Harry who is sitting on the edge of the bed pulling his hair up into a bun. I walk over to my side of the bed and climb in checking my phone one last time before rolling over to watch Harry. He quickly climbs into bed and lays down so his back is facing me before he turns the lights off and quickly muttering a goodnight to me. I sigh and whisper my own goodnights before closing my eyes and rolling over so we were laying back to back. In the darkness all that could be heard was our breathing as we both drifted off to sleep.


End file.
